Monday, Jul. 18, 2005
There's all these little bags of Guy's BBQ 'tato chips and M&M's on a tray, left over from a catering thing. And I'm chomping. Not a good thing in my current frame of mind, but it kind of is.
Whatever. It's back to the workout grind later on. This aerobics class has become a pain in my ass. Nine sessions, one lecture and one assignment to go by July 28 in order to get an A.
Yes, I whine. I whiiiine.
(bear with me)
How could my dad just take off like that and not tell anyone where the fuck he went? How childish and irresponsible, seriously. Yes, of course he has been through a lot this year, but my god. My grandparents weren't home, my aunt and uncle haven't heard from him. He tried to call my sis-with-kids the other night I guess, but they were out and he didn't leave a message.
What is he doing? Where is he? What's going to happen?
Not even calling to let me know he's okay. What if he's dead? Thanks a lot, dad, for making me worry like this! It really makes me wonder why I ever bothered being a responsible child growing up who always made curfew. He never had to feel like this about me, and I'm not happy about that um, I'm fucking enraged about that. Why all this selfishness all at once?
The worst part is, part of me doesn't really blame him. His kids are grown, he's not happy, so he just ... left. Why not? What the hell.
This really sucks, I feel like a lost little kid.
(thanks)